The Anchor Of Calvary

There was an evil hour once when I released the anchor of my faith...

I cut the cable of my belief...

I no longer moored myself tight to the coasts of the Revelation of God...

I allowed my vessel to drift with the wind...

I said to reason, "You be my captain;"...

I said to my own brain, "You be my rudder;"...

And I started on my mad voyage. 

Thank God, it is all over now; but I will tell you its brief history.

It was one hurried sailing over the tempestuous ocean of free thought. 

I went on, and as I went, the skies began to darken...

But to make up for that deficiency, the waters were brilliant with the glitter of brilliancy...

I saw sparks flying upward that pleased me, and I thought, "If this is free thought, it is a good thing." 

My thoughts seemed like gems, and I scattered stars with both my hands...

But before long, instead of these flashes of glory, I saw grim fiends, fierce and horrible, come up from the waters...

And as I rushed on, they gnashed their teeth, and grinned at me...

They seized the bow of my ship and dragged me on...

While I, in part, was impressed at the swiftness of my motion, but yet shuddered at the terrific rate with which I passed the old landmarks of my faith.

As I hurried forward with a dreadful speed, I began to doubt my very existence...

I doubted if there were a world...

I doubted if there were such a thing, as myself...

I went to the very verge of the dreamy realms of unbelief...

I went to the very bottom of the sea of Unbelief.

I doubted everything.

But here the devil foiled himself...

For the very extravagance of the doubt, proved its absurdity. 

Just when I saw the bottom of that sea, there came a voice which said, "And can this doubt be true?" 

At this very thought I awoke. 

I started from that death-dream, which, God knows, might have damned my Soul, and ruined my body, if I had not awoke. 

When I arose, faith took the helm...

From that moment I no longer doubted. 

Faith steered me back...

Faith cried, "Away, away!"

I cast my anchor on Calvary...

I lifted my eye to God...

And here I am, "alive, and out of hell."

~Charles Spurgeon~